What a week.......

Still reeling from the news I received last Friday from the dr. I have tried to be as calm as possible about this pending what my dr. wants to do for treatment and have also researched the hell out of this thing I have. Some of it scares me and some of the information reassures me. The only thing I am absolutely sure of is that my life has completely changed since the news and will never go back to what it was before the words came out of the dr's mouth.

All the research I have read says that I can't have children.....that's a little sobering as well. Yep, the happy news just keeps pilin' on! Can't hardly keep the excitement in!

Paul has been wonderful. He hasn't left me alone since we found out and that has made me feel SO much better. I know this news isn't easy for anyone, especially my family and friends. But, knowing that I have the love and support from everyone is helping although I'm still awaiting test results that will determine what direction my treatment options of this thing will be.

And, I found out that I can't take a vacation in Sept. as I had planned. Oh well......I had gotten my hopes up on that one so it's my fault that I am disappointed. I should have known better! I will have to wait until the end of March next year. I can take the time off unpaid, but don't think that is a good idea since I have no clue as to what I will have to do with treatment of this. I wish I had a more concrete idea as to that since not knowing is worse for me than actually having the facts in front of me. I say this all the time, but my imagination is far worse than any reality could be. My mind spins out of control and I keep doing the "what if" dance inside of my head.

Enough of talking about that crap. I think about it all the time, certainly need to focus on something else in my blogs and be a little more positive! Will brainstorm on that idea and finish a few things clogging my desk up.........will continue later! Any ideas as to how I can keep my head above water during this trying time would be great!